Sleepless NIghts

Ever since the Formal Affair bridal show, most of my nights have ended up in restless, uncomfortable sleep. One night I couldn't even fall asleep until about 8 in the morning. Which granted I had worked that night, so it is a little bit later (earlier??) that I fall asleep. But 8 was just plain ridiculous. The sun was coming up for heaven's sake! Anyways, I had had enough of tossing and turning and having my mind race with thoughts. So I did a little writing. And now I would like to share it:

I can't sleep, so I'll write. It's always worked for me before, might as well try tonight. My mind won't stop racing with thoughts of the wedding. I feat it's going to drive me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to marry Josh, but the planning is really making me mad- like crazy mad, not angry mad.

I thought I was starting to figure things out, but then last Sunday we went to the Formal Affair, a wedding/event expo. Seeing tons of different venues and ideas totally threw everything for a loop. Then, I've had probably 5 different people tell me to just elope; 3 of which were family members. Yes, the thought has crossed my mind, but I DON'T WANNA! I want the wedding, reception, flowers, invites, headache. I want it all! The fact that then even suggested it makes me want all of that even more. Not to mention the fact of having an incredibly amazing one to make them wonder why the word "elope" was even passed through their mouths.

Yes, it is a lot of planning and a lot of money. But it's what I want. Please understand. Or at least try to.

Needless to say, planning has not come too very far at this point in time. Luckily I have until November to get it all done. (Please don't remind me it's rapidly approaching). And it will be done and I will have my November wedding. So, now that all of that is out there somewhere and not in my head still...maybe I can get to sleep. Otherwise I fear I will end up in the looney bin humming "Here Comes the Bride" while rocking back and forth, hugging myself. And maybe my teddy bear if he is allowed to check in with me.

Good Night.

Yes, this is a bunch of rambling...but it helped. I promptly went to sleep. And for that night slept wonderfully. However, we're back to restless nights. Who knows what the next late night rants will be about, but I will definitely be posting them.